


(fic) (SW) Goldenrod (Luke/Leia, R-ish)

by windsorblue



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-04
Updated: 2007-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsorblue/pseuds/windsorblue





	(fic) (SW) Goldenrod (Luke/Leia, R-ish)

  
  
  
  
**Entry tags:**   
|   
[angst](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/angst), [fic](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/fic), [leia](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/leia), [luke](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/luke), [luke/leia](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/luke%2Fleia), [r](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/r), [star wars](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/star%20wars)  
  
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**(fic) (SW) Goldenrod (Luke/Leia, R-ish)**   
_   
written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/het_challenge/profile)[**het_challenge**](http://community.livejournal.com/het_challenge/)  
\- recipient: Pillow, who turned out to be [](http://kira-k.livejournal.com/profile)[**kira_k**](http://kira-k.livejournal.com/)  
\- prompt: "After the Empire Strikes Back; Luke helping Leia cope."  
\- warnings: angsty, vaguely twincesty

Luke awakes to the sound of pounding and thinks maybe the sound is in his own head; the pulse-in-ears nightmare-waking type of pounding. But as he wakes up some more he realizes that the pounding is coming from the door instead of his head.

"Coming," Luke says.

He opens the door and Leia's standing there, and Luke's surprised but not really. Not surprised, in the 'who else would be at my door at 0230 hours?' way. Surprised in that she looks so shaken - her face fever-flushed, her eyes wide. "Are you alright?" Luke asks, reaching out to touch her arm, reaching out without thinking.

"You're still here," Leia says.

"Of course I am." Luke half-smiles, trying for reassuring. "Where else would I be?"

"You were gone," Leia says. Her voice comes out in a hoarse whisper, her words too quick. "I dreamt you were gone. Everyone was gone except for me."

Luke runs his hands down Leia's arms and back up again, soothing. "I'm still here," Luke says. "It was just a dream."

"I couldn't find anyone and I didn't know what to do." Something in Leia's eyes shifts out of panic and into anger. "I _hate_ not knowing what to do."

"Here," Luke says. He's pulling her into his quarters, gently, by the elbow. "Come sit down for a minute. It's alright now."

Leia starts to say that she shouldn't, but she comes in anyway. "I'm sorry I woke you," she says.

"It's okay." Luke waves a hand over the button and the door slides closed. "Don't be sorry."

She sits down on Luke's bunk - more like a cot, not exactly a pallet - one hand over her eyes, covering half of her face. She's pressing her forehead with her fingertips and Luke asks, "Do you have these dreams often?"

"Yes," Leia replies. She looks up at him, smiles a little, and takes his wrist between her fingers, pulls on him until he sits down next to her. He puts an arm around her shoulder and can feel her weight shift into his support. "Well, sort of..."

"How long have you been having them?" Luke asks.

"Since right after..." She pauses and inhales - exhales, and then she answers. "Since before the Battle of Yavin."

Luke only nods. He doesn't ask when, exactly, before the Battle of Yavin they began; he doesn't have to ask.

"It's strange," Leia says. Her voice is calmer now, just a little bit. "Sometimes there are a lot of people around me, and then they just...vanish, all at once. Sometimes there are only a few, and they fade away slowly, one by one." She looks like she's thinking, so Luke doesn't interrupt her, and after a few minutes she starts to push herself out of his loose embrace. "I should go. You need your sleep."

Luke starts to tell her she can stay, she can have the bunk and he'll take the floor, but instead he says, "You really miss him, don't you?"

Leia stills - nods slowly - "So do you," she replies.

Luke nods, too. "Yeah, I do."

She slides back into him, into his arm around her shoulders and then her face is pressed against his neck, and she's not crying, but this is the closest Luke's ever seen to it. Before he can think about it he slides his other arm around her as well, and then hers go around his waist, holding on tight. He holds her until she falls asleep, and then he lays her down on the bunk and tugs the blanket over her, and as he starts to pull away she opens her eyes. "Don't go," she says.

Luke smiles - he can't help himself. "I won't. I'll just be on the floor, right beside you."

"No," Leia says. "Don't let me go." Luke hesitates for a second, and Leia adds, "Please. I don't want to be by myself." She sees Luke's hesitation and laughs at herself, a low snort of a laugh. "I sound like Threepio now, complaining at being left behind."

Luke moves back towards her with a little-boy smile. "Should I start calling you Goldenrod, then?"

She bats him on the arm. "Don't you dare." And then she pulls him back down, pulls his arm around her, holds onto his hand so he can't get away again. He settles in beside her, and that's how they sleep - nested like spoons, Leia under the blanket and Luke on top of it.

\--

It's three days later when they hear from Lando. He's made contact with someone who can get him into Jabba's. Conned the contact into playing Sabacc with him, too, and managed to win a map of the entire palace in the deal. This is good - saves them all the week of work they'd planned on for Lando to figure the layout of place out. Luke is pleased, and spends the rest of the day poring over the map, fine-tuning the plan around this extra week.

Leia plays Lando's message all the way through, three times in a row, and then she leaves Luke to himself. Luke doesn't see her for the rest of the day.

\--

Leia hasn't been back to his room since that first night, and he's not expecting her - getting ready for bed, down to his skivvies - when she knocks on his door at 2330 hours. She's in her sleeping clothes and she doesn't say anything - just comes in and makes herself comfortable in his bunk.

"What's going on?" Luke asks.

"I don't want to dream tonight," Leia answers. He cocks his head - his eyebrow - at her, and she sighs loudly, sitting sideways, one arm propping her up. "I'm having a Goldenrod moment, okay?"

Luke half-smiles, half-laughs, his eyes flicking down to the floor and back up again. "Okay," he says. He goes to put some pants on and she frowns.

"Just come over here," Leia says.

"I will - I just..."

 _"Now."_

"Okay, okay..." Luke steps towards the bunk and Leia holds the blanket up for him, and he feels his cheeks start to burn. "Wouldn't you feel better if I put on some pants first?"

"I trust you," Leia replies, and something in her voice sounds like it was a stupid question in the first place. _Good thing one of us does,_ Luke thinks, and now Leia's cocking her head at him. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No," Luke replies quickly, shaking his head. "Not at all." He lays down beside her and stays flat on his back, stiff as a board, and then he turns only his head and smiles. "See?"

Leia frowns again - recognizes that smile as fake. She grabs his hand and pulls until he's on his side, curling around her, and then she snuggles in close to him, her back to his front. And when she sighs contentedly, Luke almost comes undone. "Don't you think Han would be angry if he saw us like this?"

Leia turns onto her stomach and looks at him, her chin resting in her hand. "I don't know - we didn't really get that far."

"He's in love with you," Luke says.

"So are you," Leia replies. Luke's eyes go wide and he starts to pull away from her so she sits up, too. "Luke, don't."

"I don't..." Luke kind of hates how well she can read him, but is glad that if anyone can do it, it's her. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say, here."

"Don't say anything." She sits up straight and takes his hand, pulls it into her lap. "You're drawn to me, even though you're not certain why. You always have been. It's frustrating for you, because you have all these feelings for me and you care deeply for Han - you want us both to be happy, even if us being happy will make you lonely. Luke, it's okay." She places her free hand on his face, thumb-stroking along his cheekbone. "I want you to be happy, too. And I know Han does as well. I don't know what the solution is, but you keeping yourself away from me isn't it."

"How do you know all this?" Luke whispers. His eyes close and he can't stop himself from leaning into her thumb-caresses.

Leia shrugs. "I don't know. I just do." She presses her lips to his cheek, and he almost forgets to breathe. "We're connected, you and I," Leia says. "I'm not sure how or why, but I know there's a little part of each of us that doesn't like to be without the other." Her hand slips down from his cheek, down to his arm, and then she's squeezing his hands together in hers. "I feel safe with you. I always have. Please - I just - I need to feel safe right now."

Luke doesn't say anything. He just pulls her into his arms and lays them both down. Leia moves so she can rest her head on Luke's chest - ear to his heartbeat - and as he watches her fall asleep he tries not to think about how holding her like this makes his insides ache.


End file.
